How To Annoy The Twilight Characters
by Twilight Vampire Princess 14
Summary: Edward and Rosalie are re-put in this story also, new chapter is up!
1. Rosalie

_**25 Ways to Annoy Rosalie**_

**Tell her Emmett loves Bella way more than he loves her.**

**Call her a dumb blonde bimbo to her face.**

**Tell her to name her baby after you.**

**Remind her Edward picked a human over her.**

**Tell her blonde jokes then make fun of her.**

**Have Jacob dump food in her hair.**

**Dump food in her hair.**

**Trade all of her clothes with Leah's or Jacob's or any werewolf.**

**Call her ugly.**

**Say she is a selfish b****.**

**Scratch her BMW with your keys while she walks by.**

**Tell her Bella is more beautiful than her.**

**Set her up with Jacob.**

**Sing, "Cruella DeVil" when she walks into a room.**

**Call her Ice Queen.**

**Tell her she and Emmett weren't meant to be.**

**Break all of her precious mirrors.**

**Then tell her they broke because they saw her face.**

**Watch as she stands there in confusion before she says, "But mirrors don't have eyes, so they can't see."**

**Laugh and say, "Exactly."**

**Throw her makeup down the toilet.**

**Remind her she almost got her brother killed by the Volturi.**

**Tell her how heartless she is.**

**Cry and when she asks what's wrong, say, "Your face is just so ugly, I couldn't help but feel bad for you!" Then continue crying.**

**When she gets pissed at you when you finish, say, "Emmett told me to." Then walk off grinning a huge grin.**


	2. Edward

_**30 Ways To Annoy Edward**_

Key his Volvo.

Spray paint his Volvo pink and put 'I'm gay and I'm proud!' on the windshield.

Tell him Bella prefers Jacob over him.

Have Emmett destroy his piano.

Spray paint his locker pink and sprinkle silver, gold, purple, pink, and blue glitter all over it and fill it with pink and purple frizzles and stuff.

Tell him Bella used to have a crush a Mike.

Kidnap Bella.

Tell Charlie Edward got Bella pregnant.

Let Emmett and Rosalie have sex in his Volvo.

Let Emmett and Rosalie have sex on his piano.

Call him Ed, Eddie, or Prudeward.

Break all his CDs (and frame Jacob).

Ask him why he's still alive even though he died in Harry Potter.

Bring Tanya over to visit.

Sprinkle glitter on him at every possible moment.

Accuse him of being a werewolf.

Sing Lady Gaga in your thoughts. (And out loud.)

Sing Britney Spears in your thoughts. (And out loud.)

Tell him you know something important about Bella. Then, mentally sing an annoying song all day long.

Give him a stuffed mountain lion.

Make him eat human food.

Take Bella cliff diving.

Push Bella off the cliff. Walk away.

Tell Tanya that Edward actually has loved her for years.

Tell everyone his home address. Include directions.

Give Lauren, Jessica, and all female students at Forks High his cell phone number and home number.

Tell those girls that he was too nervous to do it himself and loves them.

Tell him straight guys don't sparkle.

Think of him nude.

Accuse him of being emo.


	3. Emmett

_**31 Ways To Annoy Emmett**_

Paint his Jeep pink and spray permanent paint with huge letters, "I'm GAY and I'm SINGLE! Call me!" Then show his phone number below it.

Scratch his precious Jeep.

Bet he can't go a week without kissing, humping, touching, or having sex with Rosalie.

Tell him what Rosalie will do when she finds out he accepted the bet, then laugh hysterically.

Tell him you read into his astrology sign, he is a Scorpio. And that Scorpio's go to hell if they have sex with vampires.

When he asks what sign Rosalie is, tell him she is a Leo, and she will go to heaven for having sex with a vampire.

Laugh when he looks like he's going to cry.

Remind him that he lost an arm wrestling match to a girl.

Remind him that Rosalie was supposed to be Edward's wife, not his.

Make fun of his jeep and tell him you like the Volvo better

Tell him you like Jasper more because he's better looking.

Tell him Rosalie only saved him because he reminded her of a baby.

Tell him looks like a creeper stalker rapist.

Tell him with a smirk in a rude way he has bits of grizzly and blood in his teeth.

Ask who wears the pants in the relationship.

When he says him, look at him doubtfully.

Then tell him, "But you would look so much better in a skirt!"

Try to stab him with a stake through the heart.

When he glares at you, slowly back away with a smile.

Then say, "Sorry, I mistook you for a real vampire, not a sissy." Run away as fast as you can, or he may eat you happily.

Tell him that brawn is sooooooo out and scrawny is sooo very very in.

Ask him what it's like to be the least liked male Cullen.

When he is around, wonder aloud when Rosalie calls him to bed.

Tell him Rosalie has him whipped.

When he denies it, tell Rosalie an exaggeration of what he said, but still saying what he implied. That he is the man and Rosalie has no control over him.

Watch as she b**** slaps him and yells at him while smirking and eating popcorn saying, "This is better than a movie!" Smirk when he glares at you.

Ask him if he is having an affair. With his Jeep.

If he says no, tell Rosalie he is.

Ask him if he is in love with his muscles since that is all that there is. No brain, no bones, no charm, nothing.

Run.

When he denies everything said above, tell him, "That's not what Rosalie, Alice, Edward, Jasper, Bella, Carlisle, even Esme, and basically everyone says! Haha!" Skip off laughing.


End file.
